(Source : humortrain)
I DO NOT like baths.
I pooped on the floor and then took it onto the couch to eat it. I am disgusting.
!I’m a “sneaky snook” and try to steal my sister’s birthday cupcakes!
“I got a little emotional while you were gone…”
If they miss the laundry basket, they get barked at.
Juniper lives to chase clam shells. Bt she has NEVER SEEN A CLAM.
I got beat up by an 8 week old kitten and run from bunnies. But I bark at pit bulls!
Terrible sense of self preservation.
I make Whiney noises when im alone…
Not all dogs can fart out aloud. Tommy knows it’s a gift.
the shame of self-hatred
SUBMISSION: bilberry vs blueberry
Robert Frost, “The Road Not Taken”
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
My Spanish isn’t good enough
I remember how I’d smile
listening to my little ones
understanding every word they’d say,
their jokes, their songs, their plots
Vamos a pedirle dulces a mama. Vamos.
But that was in Mexico.
Now my children go to American high schools.
They speak English. At night they sit around
the kitchen table, laugh with one another.
I stand by the stove and feel dumb, alone.
I bought a book to learn English.
My husband frowned, drank more beer.
My oldest said, “Mama, he doesn’t want you
to be smarter than he is” I’m forty,
embarrassed at mispronouncing words,
embarrassed at the laughter of my children,
the grocery, the mailman. Sometimes I take
my English book and lock myself in the bathroom,
say the thick words softly,
for if I stop trying, I will be deaf
when my children need my help.